Clash of the (Bandra) Titans

Ok so we all know that Salman Khan and Shah Rukh Khan almost got into a fist fight at Kat’s birthday last week. Now while that was lovely for Bolly fans and tabloids all over the world, it was equally great for me on lots of levels. Now before you go thinking that I’m obsessed with the two Khans (which I am, but that’s besides the point!), let me tell you why else it’s so great.

First and foremost what really got me excited was the thought that we – yes! You and me – could actually witness round two of Khan vs Khan if the two were to bump into each other at the Baristas that’s round the corner from both their homes! SRK lives on coffee and Salman has a table permanently booked for him at the coffee shop. So you see, it’s not that difficult to imagine.

Now how would the scene play out? Would it be true B-Town style?

Neither of them is known to back down. If I’m not wrong, SRK has described himself as the ‘Delhi ka goonda’ on more than one occasion. And haven’t we heard all about dilli ke goonde! Now Sallu on the other hand… he’s the bad boy of Bollywood! Look at his rap sheet and you’ll know why. So if the two were to take each one other on with a black coffee with a dollop of cream on top, what would happen?! Would they stick to the original ‘agar ma ka doodh peeya hai toh saamne aa?’ Or would they say ‘let’s take it outside’, where Sallu would round up the dozen men who accompany him everywhere, while King Khan roped in his Bandra mates Farhan and Arjun? What actually has me happy is the fact that Bandra suddenly has some real good looking goons!

The infamous fight simply showed that my lovely Bandra is filled with more than just a handful of wannabe bad boys who spray paint a sorry version of graffiti on the walls of Bandra including, funnily enough, the walls of SRK’s Mannat. (If you must know they wrote ‘SRK GAY’). But the ultimate joy from the fight comes from the fact that whether you earn peanuts like me or billions like these two bad boys you, just can’t stop yourself from getting into brawls once you’ve touched the bottle!

– Harshita Kohli